I'm simply going to ignore the fact that I've not updated this poor, pitiful blog in over a year. Let's just say....life, with its changes & troubles has overtaken our family like the ocean tide...pulling & tugging, til one day, it presses firm & crashes down. Good thing I'm not superstitious. Good thing I believe in the 'good' within the 'bad.' Good thing I'm held in His everlasting & abiding arms.
2012 was a monster-sized year for our family. We joined & committed to a new church. My husband's family business, which many of you know is in the funeral industry, built a new funeral home in Powder Springs, which opened in May of 2012. HUGE step for all of us. Then, our family decided to move....unexpectedly but anxiously & VERY happily. It was all but a simple move, as so many factors were out of our control concerning the sellers of our home & from start to finish, the process topped out at 5 months! In late Fall, our precious son was baptized, confirming the decision to invite Christ into his life the year before (August of 2011). Not long after, we closed on our new home (Nov. 1st), moved in on Nov. 6th, & found out that our son, who was settled into a wonderful school with an amazing teacher would have to switch schools in the middle of the year (2nd grade). That totally wrecked me. His first day at his NEW school was Nov. 27th. As we settled into our home, Christmas was upon us. So, as we were unpacking boxes, we were displaying our Christmas decorations....chaotic, but fun....all the while, Daddy was on a 7 week working spree, including weekends, & we barely saw his face. Ooooo....so many changes. So, Christmas Day came, & Jason's precious grandmother passed away early that very morning. Emotions ran over...so bittersweet, but what a day to meet her Savior! New Year's Eve came. Jason had a day OFF! Really...he did. And, he had New Year's Day off too. 2 days in a row. Yep, we'll take it. Until New Year's Day night...after putting the kids to bed, Jason skipped a few (3-4) stairs on his way down to the basement & broke his leg, dislocated his tibia, & tore his ligament. Ouch & Ouch. Really? Is this happening? Now...21 days later, here we are...
Have you ever heard the expression, We are Jars of Clay? Many of you probably are familiar with the Christian group, Jars of Clay, but referring to ourselves as jars of clay is different. I recently was invited to join a blog, along with some friends...called SheReadsTruth. This is what I read...."As it would be, I'm not made of sturdy, sparkling glass. My vessel is frail. Under pressure from the world, I crack. And, the sculpting I thought I could do with my own life? It broke me completely. Exactly how HE planned it...." This was not an accident that I read this...& not by accident was I invited to read this blog along with these amazing ladies...(thanks Sarah B.!). You see..what makes us much is the wounds that we have & are willing to let shine through our broken, shattered selves.
After Jason broke his leg, we set off for the emergency room...we suspected it was broken, but didn't know how badly it had been damaged. Still...Jason, my husband & love for 12+ years, shared this verse that the Lord placed on his heart on the way to the hospital. It's a familiar one.
James 1....
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.
9 Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position. 10 But the rich should take pride in their humiliation—since they will pass away like a wild flower. 11 For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich will fade away even while they go about their business.
12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.
13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.
16 Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. 17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 18 He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.
I highlighted the first verse, b/c this is the one that Jason felt pressed into his heart firmly that night. And, it provided so much comfort...even in our moment of panic of what was happening & how it would affect the coming days, week, even months. What a blessing that I have this wise man to listen to the Lord's words! Blew me away. Our vessel....it felt more frail than ever, especially when we learned that Jason would need surgery. We felt so much pressure as many parts of our lives were cracking & succumbing to the pressure of this wave....
But, let me tell you....in the midst of this culmination of 'change' & 'trouble' that we were (and are) experiencing, there was (is) an unexplainable JOY that erupted in our lives, individually & as a married couple & family of 4. We know that we have a CHOICE in how we reacted, responded to every single thing under the sun that happens to us. We weren't sure WHY this was happening altogether, except for the fact that we suspected that the Lord was providing our family with 'time' that was SO needed together. But, after asking WHY one time & reading James 1, we felt sure that this was all his mysterious and creative way to produce in us the qualities that we have been asking for...for so long....to gain perserverance, to have wisdom, to have greater faith, to be mature & complete, to be humbled, to have a testimony for our children. ALL of these things had been requested from our mouths these last months & now, this was the time for us to see it all come together for HIS good. There were many quiet days along the way, over the past year, that we didn't see the Lord's hand in anything. Truly. Now, we know, according to Psalm 56, that "trusting during the quiet days when nothing much seems to be happening...so that when the waters stir, your trust balance will be enough...." This was the solitude that the Lord had been affirming in Jason through his discipleship group as well. I love how the Lord works & plans & plots. Romans 8:28 promises that.....28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose. We knew we had to devote time to prayer (Colossians 4:2), so that when we prayed for something & those requests seem to be ignored & keep coming to mind, we should thank the Lord for the answers which are to come, because they WILL come. And, ask the Lord to guard our hearts against tension we may feel from not seeing answers....especially in the time & manner we think we should.
I know it is our duty, today, to share with you, or at least document this time in our lives, for our own sakes...so that we know and see the Lord's hand. Luke 6:38 explains that, as part of our humble service to Christ, that we should be 'joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer'...and that we should share with the Lord's people who are in need & practice hospitality.
My thoughts often trail back to many, many days & times when I wished and hoped that I could have a visual roadmap to see all the twists and turns of my day, or week...naturally, I'm a planner. I like predictability. I like to be prepared. MY way of preparing myself is very different from the way I NEED to be prepared by God. He says...he will not show us what is on the road ahead, but he does promise to equip us with what we need for our journey. Our job is to stay in constant communication with HIM, to whisper his name when our thoughts need redirection. His abiding presence is always upon us...and he will give us rest (Exodus 33:14).
The fruit that Jason & I would like to bear cannot be done alone. We have to remain in the vine (Jesus). Apart from Him, we cannot produce anything....at least, anything GOOD & pleasing. (John 15:4-7). We know, because we have chosen a difficult path as believers, that we will be surrounded by a sea of problems....as you will too, if you so believe and seek the Lord. The changes that toss us to & fro will always be...but, our Lord NEVER changes. We are learning that. Slowly, but surely. :) This is an snippet from a devotion from January 16th that I read...(Jesus Calling ~ Sarah Young)....."Fix your eyes on ME, the One who never changes. By the time those waves reach you, they will have shrunk to proportions of My design. I am always beside you, helping you face today's waves. The future is a phantom, seeking to spook you. Laugh at the future! Stay close to ME."
"And the peace that surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts & your minds in Christ Jesus..."Philippians 4:7.
"From the ends of the Earth I call to you, as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I".....Psalm 61:2.
"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author & perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:2.
Thank you Jesus.....